Will things ever be the same?

[Neocridders]

Today was a very rainy, dark morning. Most mornings are super dark when I walk to the bus stop, but it was raining very hard. My mother took me and my twin brother to school.

It was a gloomy morning from the start.

I got to school, things were glum. It was a strange start to a school day.

In first period, my teacher was called out of the room. But, no one paid any attention. People were talking (it is art class, and inbetween projects right before exams. Not much going on anyway).

Well, my friend across the table all the sudden was very serious (and from they lack of seriousness from before, I thought she was kidding). She just out of no where said 'Oh my gosh. Someone died today. Not kidding.'
And, I was not able to grasp what that meant.

Then a sub teacher came in for my regular teacher (and that is weird, you know, since if a teacher is gone for a minute everything is fine .Something must have been going on and needed supervision).

Some how, our class got to saying that the person who died was the girl who was absent in our class. This was strange. How would a rumor like that even be realistic, it seemed to come from no where.

But, alas...  it seems someone did die. A councelor came in, and she started things slow.
'You may know that there was an accident this morning with a special needs school bus and a student. The student was hit by the bus. [Insert name here] is in your class. Police reports have only told us that things don't look to good. We don't know if she has passed away, but it looks like she will.'

That was a total shock.

Our teacher came back in. She was completely torn up. I don't know what she did, as I tried not to look at anything but my table, but I know she sat at the table near where [Insert name here] sat. The next period an announcement came on about how she was killed by a bus this morning at 6:30.

I was depressed this whole day, and I was looking for her in the hallways, hoping to see her and it would be just like normal. But I was just being hopeful. She won't be back. I won't be seeing her in this lifetime. I was very shocked, and it must not have sunk in yet.

I have talked to her maybe twice in my life, but I knew she was a great kid. She was smart and nice, and she was a great artist. But she was so shy, most of my friends never knew her. I am scared for tomorrow first period. Life just won't be the same at my high school. It is truley sad that someone leaves this world, so young ( about to turn 16 this Thursday) and just thinking... she was probably up last night just like me, studying for exams all night, exams she would never live to see.

I don't know. Things just won't be the same. It is very tragic, and I hope she rests in peace.

I am sorry I never got to know her, but I am sure I would have by the end of high school. She will be missed.

Ahh. I don't know what purpose this thread has... just needed to get that out. I am depressed.

I might be a bit quiet until Thursday or Friday this week. I have tons of exams, and this is one of those moments thinking 'It could have been me. It was dark, rainy, and early. I know it was not my bus that hit her, nor was she on my bus. But those conditions...

And it makes me think 'What if someone else I know is next to go?' and I look into everyone's face, so I make sure atleast I get to see them once before they go. But once, twice, a hundred times... it's never enough. Not when you don't know when it could happen, or if it even will.

Sorry. :,( Just needed to get that out.

[Poupou]

I'm really sorry Neo. *Hugs*

[hiyoko]

I know what you mean Neo, when I was in 8th grade a classmate I knew for years died. He had a tumor, or something, in his head. All of us were so sad for him.

At my old high there's a memorial in the center of one of the older buildings, it's dedicated to those students that lost their lives while in high school or shortly after. 

[springacres]

I'm really, really sorry to hear that, Neo.  *huge hugs*

[WillowDragon]

When I was 15, I lost a friend at school... he was just a few weeks from turning 16 and had been ill for only a few weeks with leucemia, so despite his illness, his death was still a very sudden shock to everyone.

Isn't it funny, when you are 15/16 (any teen really) you feel soo grown up, but when something like that happens, thats when you realise just how young you are. It wasn't until I saw his age on his gravestone that it really hit home. Even now, 12 years on, when I travel to see my parents, i still pop in to the graveyard and say hello.

I'm not saying this to upset you more... just wanted to let you know that I pretty much know exactly how you are feeling right now.  If you want to chat, please feel free to PM me.

W xx

[Sunchaser]

6 years ago when i was a sophmore in high school i lost a close friend. It was hard for me because he had helped me so much with my guide dog that i was raising. His name is Aaron and i got close to him. Not in the way i am with Siurin but as a friend is close. He was short but he never let anyone look down on him. It was sudden for him to be gone but he had a diesease and he was told he wouldnt see 14 and he saw 16. I still miss him and have a picture of him with my guide dog in training cause he did help me.

it gets... eaiser i guess but it is always hard to lose a friend.