A little Confession

[Neocridders]

Ok. So it's 3:30 AM, I'm tired and can't think due to headache.
I will explain this in words that hopefully make sense.


A little while ago, maybe a couple months ago, I can't remember...
Anyway, a little while ago, I opened up customs for USD for gryphions. First, I wanted to buy some new gryphon lineart. When that failed, I can't remember what I was using the money for. I just like to have money on hand in case a tablet breaks or I need something. You know, safety net.

Well, I had about $60 and some cents saved up for something in my paypal. Nothing specific. Just money I was keeping just in case.
At this point I am still working off the customs, so I had the money ahead of time and I was about to finish stuff.


Anyway. I never told anyone online this, and it's nothing you guys can do, but I was sort of... quieter in my opinion. I've been trying to keep my mind off of it.

So one morning I get on my paypal just to check. You know, so much money I want to have a glance whenever I can. It's like looking at a beautiful $100 bill (which I've never seen in real life before. I'm 16 and have never worked a day before. Planning to change that of course... needing money to pay off school fees.)

Well, I went on to check my money. And it said in it's pretty black font '$0.00'
I started to cry. I yelled at my mother, who was in the room, 'My money is gone. It's all gone. He emptied my paypal into his bankaccount!'
My mother was whispering harsh tones to my father (who was in the dining room, which is basically a continuation of the kitchen sort of) 'I told you she'd find out'.


WHAT? He didn't think I'd find out? And she knew about it? I was frankly pissed off. Nothing more about it. How could anyone, ANYONE, do that so anyone else? Especially to family?

He took my money out. He spent it on who knows what else.
Now, freeze a moment. You may be wondering 'Well, maybe he needed it to pay bills or feed you Neo!'. Now, if he had needed my money for that, of course I'd have said yes. I'd have reluctantly said it, but I would have said yes.
Now, he never said anything. He came up to me as I was crying and when I confronted him, he just said 'I don't see what the problem is'.
WHAT?
...? ...? ...?
So he didn't understand that taking my money is wrong?
He told me I can just spend money I need to spend and it'll come from his bank account. But I don't want to do that. Because I might be charging him what he can't afford! He recently lost his job, and I know we don't have much money... but I've never had an allowance or any income other than a birthday card with a $20 in it each year, and a christmas card with a $20 in it each year. That's not much. So I work hard for the money I get. It's hard to be 16 and not need money at all.




So a long story short, I made a bunch of money. He took it. I've yet to see it back. I will never get over it.[/b]


My life is screwed up. The school won't let me see my report card grades from last quarter until I pay my school fees, which boil up to about $350 for just this year (what the?! Why are my classes hundreds of dollars yet my twin brother's classes are like $30?). I can't see my grades until I pay the fees, mom paid half, but they locked me out of the school website where they post important assignments and grades and information I need to live basically. !!!! That's like super bad.

And then since the school levy didn't pass, we were going to cut marching band. But the school is now going to keep it, fire one of the directors (the greatest director who ever lived) and make it 'pay to play' like football. The $500 I pay doesn't go toward band camp or instruments or anything. It goes to the school for who knows what. Then I'll have to pay on top of that a fee for band camp and busing and stuff, which will probably be another $550 or so.
And as my senior year, it'll be another 'trip year' The band goes every three years to a special place. Last time they went to Hawaii. This year I get to maybe go to florida... if I can afford it >.< GOSH MY LIFE FALLS APART AT GOOD TIMES, RIGHT?

And then it's prom season, you know. Thank god I didn't buy my dress, but used one I've been saving in my closet for years. It fits still and it's prom style. But prom tickets go on sale next week. $40. And thank goodness my date can pay his weight. And then after prom is $15. Yay.

And then... I need to drive. I got my temps test taken today (or yesterday, since it's almost 4:00 now as I write this). For the second time. I took my first test a year ago. It expired, had to take it again today. And I need to be able to drive. That's $400 for driving school. If I can't drive, I can't get a job and I can't try to tame this mountain of fees.


YAY NEO IS NOW JUST RANTING ABOUT HOW POOR SHE IS.
TIME TO STOP READING >.>
goodnight....
(anyone who actually read my who post is awesome. I'm just so tired. I'm not good at using short sentences. Sorry guys I'm just pissed and my head hurts and I'm tired.)

[BabyKittenCandy]

*huggles Neo*

Ouch hunny.... that is a lot of crap.

Firstly the money.. as a parent while I can understand where he is coming from saying that you can just ask him, that isnt the point. It was *your* money and its darn nice to have your own money. He should have asked you before doing that if it was ok and not done it when you said no.

All the school fees, that sucks.. they shouldnt be allowed to keep your grades from you! You 'earned' them. I dunno what to suggest hunny.

Im guessing that being 16 you cant open your own paypal acc?

[Sinister Pink]

I actually cried when I read this, I am so SO sorry for you, and I wish there was some way to help you, but I can give you this. You are 16 and at the moment rely on your parents, but this will not always be so, the thing that hurts more, I suspect than losing the money is that someone other than yourself had control over something that was clearly to you very VERY important.
However trust me, this will pass, and it will make you a much stronger, better person!.

How do I know this, because I was where you are now, my father is a chronic alcoholic, and he took money from not only my Mum, she still to this day has to lock it in a cupboard but he manages to find keys to it all the time as it's a standard cupboard design. He also took money from my Sister and Me.
I wasn't permitted to go to University as there words here "I was too thick to ammount to anything, all she can do is draw, what use is that". So basically got a job in a Pharmacy at 16 and worked my way up the promotions ladder. My firt job I got £50 a week, £20 pounds went to my Mum for board and if my Dad found my Purse would take £20 of the remaining £30 I had.

I used to go to extrodinary lengths to hide or carry my purse about but everytime I was unwary and he cleaned me out I felt like I had been punched in the guts. Even now that I am 36 I still hide my purse and any money I get even though he isn't here. Just because now it's so inbuilt.
But you know what I'm 36 now and life is good, these lessons taught me lots of things, and you too will learn similar lessons.,a nd hoepfully you too will be giving hope to someone else is your same situation.

I moved out of home at 16 and I never looked back, and little did they know but my art has supported me for over 10 years now, not only financially, but emotionally and spiritually as well, as everytime I create I confirm to myself that, do you knwo what I "aren't" useless!

So chin up petal it's okay to be uspet, but don't let him break you!, it's not in his power. My door is always open should you need a friendly ear many MANY *huggles*

Sarah

[Goddesss]

*huggles Neo*

I dont think I can say it any better then Sarah.  If you need anything let me know even if you just want to vent.  I promise I will actually respond to those messages, and it will be more then I read them and ill reply soon.  I will give an actual reply right away.

Its ok to cry, but always remember things work themselves out and we never know what wonderful things life has in store for us.

*huggles Sarah*
I left home at 15 though my situation was different I thought you needed hugs too XD

[Neocridders]

Those are really nice words.
Thank you so much.
I know I made him look like a bad guy.
He's a nice guy, but he's critical and hard  to please, and I'm worried that onemone thing like thisis going to ruin my relationship with him for the rest of my life.
I think his mom would do the same thing. She' invite her children and husband out to dinner along with my mom (who was dating himi guess at the time).
My grandma would get to the end of the meal and say 'ok-my uncle's name, her son- , you can get the bill.

Same deal.
So i don't know, maybe he's just be raised to think it's acceptable.
Whatever the case, thanks for reading. Botnh of you, your words help me.

As for my own paypal, that's a good idea. Maybe i'll do that when i get a job. I'll have my own bank account.
Thanks.
Thankds.



Eta, thank you goddesss <3

[Sinister Pink]

Neo would you belive that my realtionship with my parents isn't a bad one, I accept them, their faults and all, but I don't forget as I am now a parent myself and I would like to be "better" than my parents. So I take my lessons where I can!

Thanks for the cuddles Goddess, but as someone who left home at 15 yourself, you will no doubt know it makes us a heck of a lot stronger, we may not be born to fight but experience has taught us to none the less, and we are independant to boot!! so Huggles back to you as well!

Infact to heck with it, Come on Neo and Baby Kitten, get in here lets have a GROUP HUG!!!

((((((HUGGLES)))))))) <wink>

Sarah

[BabyKittenCandy]

Im not 100% sure you even need a bank account anymore for paypal, it would just be an unverified account, until you can verify it ofc.

I would even go so far as to say if you wish, I can hold paypal money for you and send it when you require but ofc, that limits you. I am on pretty much every day though so it could maybe be an option. Totally up to you hun.

Im lucky enough that I have a wonderful relationship with my folks and they would never dream of doing anything like that, so I cant say I know how you feel but I can imagine, so yeah.. *hugs*

[Neocridders]

*yay hugs*

Thanks guys. I'm ready to leave when I'm done with high school. College will be my chance to get away.. So thanks for your words.

BKC thanks,  but I'll probably just sparingly use paypal until summer whn i have  a job.right now i just need to get my pi account renewed and then I'll take a paypal break.

[Ryuukokoro]

There is NO excuse for taking someone's money without informing them, whether they are a minor in your home or not. >.< That money was not his, and that is theft. Unfortunately I don't think there's anything you can actually do, legally, but that doesn't mean it was right. :\

You're not alone. I have a lot of friends who this has happened to. *hug* Things will get better in a few years, you'll see!

[PonyMama]

My 9 year old has money in her bank account, once we needed food, it was somethign we needed, I sat her down and said ok you have money and mom and dad don't we need to take some.  She was 8, then when we went to Disneyland we sat her down and said, if you want to buy stuff there we will take some money out, so we did.  It isn't ours and it is polite to let peopel know what is beign done with their money

I am sorry Neo, but sometimes the teenage years are a lot rougher then others, hopefully they will pick up

[YourLoveOnly]

*hugs Neo tightly* I too come from a difficult home situation. Me and my parents can get along, but when we live under the same roof it doesn't work so well. I am going to move again soon, I have my own money, pay everything myself and they still try to control every single thing I do and say and it can drive me nuts. I've proven to them multiple times I am responsible and do just fine on my own, but my way of doing stuff is not their way and that bugs them. They want someone who acts and talks and thinks like them and that's just not me. Anyway, back to you. There is really no way what your dad did is okay. If he really needed the money he should have talked to you first, if he doesn't need it and just wants to make sure he can control where you spend the money.. well, I can understand that, but it's still your money so you should be able to decide. If you can never do stuff on your own how will you ever learn? And again, he shouldn't have done anything without talking to you first. I feel really bad for you dear <3 I know you worked so hard for that money!

Edit: I am pretty sure paypal does not allow minors to have their own account, even without a bank account linked to it or using your own, you have to be 18 since technically your parents could pull chargebacks if they don't approve of your spending when you're a minor so a company won't usually risk it.

[Silvanon]

*passes out hugs all around*

Awe Neo, that's hard when a parent breaks trust.    As for the school fees, perhaps it'd be worthwhile to go talk to a school councilor about your situation and see what options the school has available?  There's likely some sort of financial aid option for students of low income/no income families.

As for your relationship with your Dad - well, trusting someone and loving them are two different things.  He'll determine whether he's trustworthy or not, but you're the only one who gets to decide if you love him.  And, I think just knowing that you want to love him already gets you most of the way there.

[Garney]

Goodness gracious, that's just awful for a parent to have that mindset toward their child. I would be darn proud if I were your parent, earning your own money for things you want.

And I am stupidly proud every time my kids do something to earn money. We even have this little ledger if I need to borrow money from them or if they want something special and borrow from me. It teaches them responsibility.

I can definitely see how your trust in him would take a hit =( no matter what the money was for, he should have at least told you.

*hugs* Money issues, gah. All I can think to say is GAH.