Loss of a loved cat

[Spixy]

So - I haven't really been able to "burst" the bubble online yet, as I'm not really over it yet, but it's like everyone else has already moved on, so I decided to write it down instead.

If you don't want to read it all, it's understandable. Generally, we lost one of our precious cats last week. Her name was Mille and she was barely 2 years of age.

-> wall of text >.<

Three weeks ago our precious cat Mille went missing. The first few days, we weren't really worried as she usually leaves for a day or two on mouse-hunting, but after 5 days, I guess we "knew" what had happened right? or so my boyfriend did, I was sure she was stuck somewhere and was unable to come home, so just in case, I always kept her bowl filled with food.. just in case. The waiting wasn't just hard on us. Our second kitty, Topper, was used to her coming home and he was awfully loud those weeks. Calling and mewing all the time and never strafing too far away from home.

We had put up "wanted" searches - both in the area and online, but there was no luck. We had asked all neighbours ect. so eventually - one week ago - we went further and asked a guy straight up the big road. He immediately asked "Is she black and white?" and yes, she was. He showed my boyfriend to the place, just off the street in the side and there she was. She'd been laying there - luckily dead - for three days.

My boyfriend asked me if I wanted to see her, but did warn me about her condition. I immediately said no, as I wanted to remember her alive and warm, you know? But eventually changed my mind, as I wouldn't believe it was her otherwise.

To keep it short and sensitive friendly, it was her. Dead and all, but it was her. I've never seen death "live" before and so I wasn't prepared for the major slam in my guts and I had to leave. My boyfriend picked her up and buried her in her favourite towel -  on her favourite little hill. I cried and cried, I still even have tears now, though I'm not much of a crier.

For some reason though, I still can't grasp that it was her, you know? I still wait for her to come in - gaze out the windows, just in case. I even have nightmares about her. Is that normal one week after?

I have so many feelings rolling through me. Sad by her young and unfair death. Confused at her recklessness, as she was always the smart one. Angry at anything, because it happened. Raging towards the person, who killed her without checking for injures or calling us. Annoyed with the man who found her, yet didn't check for ear tattoos and call us. Ugh.

Why doesn't people stop to check on an animal if they've hit it? Luckily in Mille's case, she was dead on impact (won't go into details), but what if she hadn't been? We went three weeks without knowing what happened - or where she was. Three weeks of filling up her bowl and wishing, hoping, that she'd come home again. Three weeks of comforting each other and my boyfriend trying to be supportive, but this was truly his baby. If we had just .. known.

R.I.P Mille.
Two years and way too early.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v500/nuzzer2/Mille/mille5.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v500/nuzzer2/Mille/hejj5.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v500/nuzzer2/Mille/hejj17.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v500/nuzzer2/Mille/DSC_0009.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v500/nuzzer2/Mille/hejj1.jpg

- end rant -

If you read it all through, you seriously deserve a muffin and a kiss on the cheek.

[BabyKittenCandy]

Aww hunny!! *snuggles Spixy*

I am sorry hun, loosing a pet is never easy but the hurt over the fact that people dont try and inform is worse.  Unfortunately a lot of people dont think of pets as anything worth worrying over >.<

Try and be comforted by the fact that for her life short as it may have been she knew she was adored and cared for.  She will be waiting for you

http://www.indigo.org/rainbowbridge_ver2.html

(This is a safe link)

[TheLeet]

You must be heartbroken and I wish I could do something about it but I can't so I'll just offer you virtual hugs instead *hugs*

It is normal to have nightmares and sometimes forget that she's gone. It takes time to get over the death of a beloved pet. <3

[Kahlira]

Oh Spixy *hugehugs*

Death is hard.  No matter if it's a beloved pet, a loved one, or even a friend's cousin.

Mourning and grief. They're both a part of life. Take all the time you'll need. There is no right or wrong time to grieve. *hugs again*

Your cat was beautiful. Remember her for all of the good things. (The purrs, the moments of love) and so on. She's up there, wishing she could be with you, I'm sure.

[zarzamora]

aw, I'm so sorry. She was a beautiful kittie x

[Luv007]

She was a beautiful cat, and I'm betting she knew exactly how much she was loved.  Despite her short life span, I'm sure it was one of the best lives that a cat can live.  I hope you can find comfort in knowing how much happiness you gave her.  Some cats live a long life and never find that kind of love.

As for the nightmares, and the waiting, you probably won't ever forget her precious little self, but time brings acceptance.  Maybe not a weeks worth of time, or a months worth of time, but I hope in a year you have all those pleasant memories cleansed of that one last terrible one.

I'm so very sorry.  Animals have an understand and acceptance of us that no one does or can.  It is terrible to lose a best friend like that.

[Spixy]

I can't thank you all for the support and hugs =) Had to stop reading responses several times, due to me getting all teary again. It's awesome being part of such a great community.

Big hugs to all of you =)

[Daimas]

hugs tightly* Im so sorry hon. sometimes crying is the best medicine.. to get it out and allow yourself to mourn helps more than you think it will sometimes.

It takes time but the nightmares do stop, the constant longing fades, and the pain fades as well. It is never easy to lose a pet, even harder to lose a young one, and the hardest to lose a friend. Keep in mind that where she is shes happy, healthy, and watching over you loving you still.

Hugs again* Im so sorry

[Pinkshadow]

Sorry to hear hun <3
- It will get easiere with time tho ..

I had it liek that when my dog died, but i'm ok now, just remember the good things

[Rosewood]

*hugs* I am sorry to here.

[springacres]

I am so so sorry to hear that Spixy   At least she had a wonderful life with humans who loved her and who she knew loved her.  *big big hug squeeze*

[Goddesss]

*hugs* so sorry for your loss.  She was a beautiful girl and I am sure she had a great life.