Thoughts/Advice on a pet issue... sensitive

[BabyKittenCandy]

We have a cat who is pretty old.  We 'inherited' her from my aunt when she died. The cat had been a rescue cat and my aunt would not have wanted her to go back to a home, so even though it was not the best time for us to have a cat we took her on.  They reckoned when my aunt took her on, she was about 2. If that was correct, she is now 18/19 years old, a huge age for a cat.

We love her dearly, but in the past few months/year she has started to poo and wee all over the house. (she is a house cat as we live in the city near a busy road and she has always used a tray just fine) We cant work out why she is doing this, i mean, we hang towels on the bannister and she wee'd like a male cat all over them, which then went over the egde, down onto the stairs.... big mess!

We recently took her to the vets to get her nails clipped and while there she collapsed.  They kept her in and ran some tests and it turns out she has a tumour in her lungs.  Its not causing her any pain at present though it is slightly displacing her windpipe and the vet said as it grows it will eventually cut off her air.  Since we brought her home she has been refusing food she used to eat (we normally end up throwing it away and giving her either a different flavour or some ham or something), she has been even worse with the weeing all over the place, and she is so thin you can feel pretty much every vertebrae in her back/bone in her body.

Despite this, she seems happy enough, she comes in with us and sleeps on the sofa, she loves her fuss etc.. the biggest worry is our 3 year old son.  We are worried about the hygiene issues with him when she is going to the toilet everywhere.

Part of me thinks we should keep going despite everything cos she seems happy and content and part of me thinks we should consider having her put to sleep before the tumour starts to plague her and cause her pain.  She has had a long and wonderful life and I know I need to think of her, not me. Im never going to want to have her put to sleep and I dont want to have to confine her to a room.... I feel so terrible for even thinking about having her put down but I do wonder if it would be for the best for all of us......

[TheLeet]

It's ultimately your decision and I can definitely see why it's such a hard decision to make. Personally, I'd keep going as long as she seems to be happy and content. I don't mean to sound harsh but it sounds like she probably only has a few more months left to live anyway. So I'd just put up with her toilet issues and keep a close eye on her health for now.

I don't know what to advise on her toilet issues. You've obviously already tried to work out possible causes so I assume it won't be something as obvious as her not being happy with her litter or the position of her litter box. Have you spoken about it to the vet? To be honest I think it might just be because she's probably a little senile but it might still be worth seeing if it could be caused by any medical conditions.
It could also be that she feels stressed or upset for whatever reason. In that case a Feliway diffuser might help.

Anyway, the decision is yours and I don't think anyone would judge you for choosing to have her put to sleep. I had an immense sense of guilt after having had our last (also about 19 years old) cat put to sleep - even though he would have probably died within a few days naturally anyway. I don't think I could handle putting a cat to sleep that's not in any pain and still eats and walks alright but then people have different priorities and I can understand that you are worried about your child.

[Winged]

I agree with Leet, it's your decision and it wouldn't be a bad decision either way. Perhaps go back to the vet and see if they have any suggestions about the peeing in the house. To me that sounds like a mild case of dementia, has there been any other changes in her behavior? That could also be the reason that she's off her food. I think dementia can be treated or at least helped so that would be worth asking your vet.

Personally i would think that if you can treat the problems such as peeing that she has just now then that would be the best way to go. As long as she is happy, and can move and eat i'd say to keep her going, but of course it's your decision.
Best thing would be to ask your vet, obviously they will know way more than we do and can see what options you have.

[BabyKittenCandy]

We did speak to the vet regarding her toilet issues and they said without extensive bloodworks they couldnt know what it was and said that really with her being so old, it wasnt worth putting her through it.

The other issue is our son.. he is rather boisterous and although he professes love for the cat is very jealous of her and rather heavy handed. Despite constant telling's off, being shouted at and sometimes even a small smack he refuses to leave her in peace and we do worry at points that now she is so frail he will actually hurt her.

Its not that she isnt a priority, she is, but im trying to think of what is best for all parties, her included.

[Wildfilly94]

Coming from a Vet Tech (My mom) and her very exerienced daughter (Me)

I understand comepletely about the wee'ing all over the house. We had two cats that we recently put down, due to old age, their discomfort, and they peed everywhere. They both had infections, which was the main cause of the peeing everywhere, but they both also had the problem habit-wise too. Habit your cant fix. Infection you can treat. If you would like to have the cat tested for a urinary infection to see if mabye thats the reason for the messign aroudn the house, that could help the situation.

As far as the age and lung issues and such.. You may not want to hear this, but cats generally hide their pain from humans. Its an animal instinct, and they are VERY good at it. The cat is either happy and content, like you said, or really hiding the pain its in (Most likely.. :/) If it were me, or my mom, we would probably choose to put the cat to sleep at this point. Were really big on animal pain and stuff and from what you've said, the cat probably won't have too much longer with the tumor int he lungs and the age. In our opinions, euthinasia would be best. But that is just us. It is untimately YOUR choice on what you do.

I hope this insite helps you. And please know I mean no offense or further pain in the desicion. <3 I hope whatever you choose is the right desicion for you.

Kind Reguards,
Wildfilly94

[PonyMama]

I would agree that with tumor, old age and litter issues, not to mention a small child in the house, she may be happily coming to the end of her time.  To me if she was that loved by your aunt she had a great life, but she probably misses her as well.  I personally would put her down, but it is your choice.  She may have a couple more years left in her that are okay, and it may just be an urinary tract infection causing her issues.

Sometimes though you have to look at quality of life.  either way if you choose to put her down, feel no guilt.  She is a good aged cat, and like I said had a wonderful life.

Try and talk it over though, do not make any snap decisions and if you do decide to put her down, spend some good time with her and take pictures of her.

[BabyKittenCandy]

Wildfilly and PM, thank-you for your replies. Wild, I take no offense or upset at your advice/opinion. I asked for it and you were honest, Thank-you <3

The vet we saw reckoned it was more a matter of months than years and they didnt believe there was an infection, just old age and possibly the fact she may be going senile.

She was pretty pampered anyhow but since we found out about the tumour we have basically been letting her do even more than before, really trying to spoil her and make her super comfy.  She has actually started to eat better again today, which is a relief and before where she was only half heartedly washing she is looking great today.

My hubby and I talked more tonite after I read him Wild's post and we both agreed that even though the constant cleaning is a total pain, since she seems happy and content (sleeping beside me atm on a pillow on the sofa, purring away at me after a good fuss) that we dont wanna take away any remaining time she has if we can help it.

If the toilet issues get really really bad, or she seems in distress, fair enough.  But since she doesnt for now, we will deal with the extra cleaning and just keep a good eye on her.

I do feel guilty even thinking of having her put down.. if she was in pain, i wouldnt hesitate, cos I wont have an animal suffer for me, but cos she seems happy i do feel bad, even though my parents have been saying for 6 months or so we should have her put down. My husband isnt a amazingly pet friendly person but he is adamant he wants to let her go in her own time, he has been wonderful, as have all of you guys.

[Spixy]

I'm terribly sorry to hear about the cancer, I wish all pets could just pass on in peace of old age and die without any pain or suffering.

My concern is though, if the tumor is growing in size and it'll eventually block off her airway, she'll die of strangulation, which is a quite horrible death in my ears. (No offense, since I doubt you've got that planned for her - I just needed to ask or my heart wouldn't let me sleep x_x)

Have you talked about taking her to some "follow-ups" that can keep track of the tumor-size and eventually let her go, before it blocks off her airway? I'd probably choose to keep her too, since you really sound like you're giving her the ideal conditions for a happy life, plus she sounds like a true spoiled madam xD

[BabyKittenCandy]

Oh gosh yes Dear! The vet has told us to listen to her breathing and take her in at the slightest concern and I will be taking her in and having her checked over (we prolly cant afford the £75 for x-rays each month) but we certainly will be monitoring her very closely now. When the time comes or is she starts to deteriorate due to any other issue, we will do the right thing. Like I said, I wont let her suffer cos I dont want to loose her, that wont ever happen! She is much loved and a member of the family and treated as such, in all ways

[Wildfilly94]

It seems like shes in a very loving home, so shes a very lucky kitty. I hope all goes well . <3

[springacres]

The toileting issues could just be because she can't control those functions anymore, but she sounds like she has a very good life otherwise.  I can say that if she were my cat and was having those issues but still able to enjoy life otherwise, I wouldn't consider putting her down. 

In the meantime, since you're worried about hygiene issues, I would look into cat diapers.  I don't have any experience with them personally, since by the time our old cat started having serious toileting issues, her quality of life had declined enough from other health issues that I knew it was time for her to go, but they sound like at least a workable solution to your problem.