Small rant/vent :/

[Willow]

I just need to get this out, I feel horribly confused and torn right now :|

I've finished my last year at high school and was planning to go onto Sixth Form (an extra two years education, like college)
The Sixth Form is at the same school I've been at for five years, and it's had it's ups, but I've had a hell of a lot of downs at that place.The uniform for instance, that knocked my confidence more than anything,I got bullied, I really hate not being able to wear clothes I'm not comfortable in, because when I think I look good and feel comfortable, I'm at my best in confidence. In Sixth form we don't have to wear uniform, but they're still strict and want everyone to look very prim and proper (no jeans - bummer :|)
I understand why they've given out this dress code because if not they could get god knows what walking through the door on the first day, but still it's a downer for me (not being a great looker and not having a ton of confidence)

I was planning on taking Art & Design + Biology for sure, but we had to choose four options...This had me stuck a bit, and the other two I picked were Psychology and iMedia, neither of which I really want to do, I'm just filling in a gap :3
Now I'm not sure if I even want to go to Sixth Form, I feel like I just jumped on the bandwagon, it's not what I really want, but heck, I don't know what else to do!

My boyfriend is going to college to do an aviation course, and he can wear whatever he wants, that'd be a bonus for me, wearing my own stuff.
I could have a look at the courses they offer there and see if anything takes my fancy, but again, I've got nothing specific in mind.
I really am not that great at art to be taking on a full art course, but it's something I'd enjoy...I'd just be worried about being the worst in the class :/

Another option I could take is leaving education and going into work, for work experience I worked at the Library, and I loved it! I could get to grips with everything except the phone (I -despise- picking up the phone, my voice shakes and I get beyond nervous and embarrassed)
But the thing is, I'm so darned average.
No uber skills, intelligence, qualities.
Just plain really.
And that scares me.

I feel like I'm trying to resist all three options, but in the end I feel like I'm going to have to be pushed headlong into one, and these are really the first 'major' options of my life.
Staying in education or going to work.
To be honest all three are scary, I'm not the most independent person, and they're very different from high school.

I just don't know what to do X3
One thing I know for sure is that when the next two years are up I and my boyfriend will be moving in with my dad, either in Edinburgh or Sheffield, and I can't wait for that, it's been years since I've lived with my dad, and he's makes me feel so happy, sometimes the situation back here with my mum isn't the best (but I still love her to bits)
But before that can happen, I need to choose something quick :3

Anyway, vent over, I feel a bit better
Kudos if you read it all <3
~Willow

[indigowulf]

You should do the 6th form since you're already signed up and it probly looks great on future resumes, but make a plan to do some world-seeing after. it was an american tradition for a long time to backpack around europe between high school and college, to see the world and get some cultural experience and independance and confidence. now days its just too expensive.

still, pick a destination. go visit it, on your own. bring enough money along to eat and stuff, but leave your plans open to change each day. set a day you plan to come home. on *that* day, you can decide if you want to work or go to college, or do some random wonderful thing you encountered as you were out.

It gives you something to look forward to as you trudge through the boring torment of school.

[Willow]

Thank you indigo, hadn't ever thought of that
I think it'd be good to do something like that, I'd have to save up though :3
It sounds good for the mind!
~Willow

[Silvanon]

I'm going to throw in my 2 cents for education, too.  I've never heard anyone seriously regret going to college, but I have heard people seriously regret not going.  I've also had several friends plan to go do more college later, after working some, but most of them have found that the salleries they get with high-school educations don't pay enough to allow them to go back to school once they're out of the system.  (Once you start working, the world expects you to support yourself, whereas if you're an ongoing student there's a lot more help.)

If you go to Sixth Forum (or any other college, for that matter), then you'll always have the option of transfering if you decide in the end you'd like to go somewhere else.  And in the meantime you're being exposed to various topics and getting a better idea of what you really like, plus you're getting credits that will help you get through your program quicker once you do decide what you'd like to do. 

And, don't worry so much about being average.  The fact is, the vast majority of us are.  Average is just fine.  If you indentify an area where you are definitely below average, then don't worry either - all of us have those too.  Just don't pick that as your area to go into. 

[Blondie_63]

I agree with Silv. Not going to school I think would not be a very good idea.

I felt the same way as you when I got into school. I thought I was not good enough to be able to even get into a decent college and even if I did I had no idea what I wanted to do. I, like you, always thought I was average if not below and wouldn't fit in with anything at school. What I realized when I got to school is you aren't the only who feels this way everyone does! Most teens who start college have no idea what they want to do or what they are good at. That's kind of what college is for. For the first two years of college you take required classes and some electives. You can take any kind of elective you want this is where some teens figure out what they like to do and are somewhat good at.

If I were you I'd go for either the Sixth Form or College. Because I don't really know anything about Sixth Form I can't really say that I would choose that but with you leaving in 2 years I would go for college and get your Associate in Arts which is pretty much just a transfer degree, has nothing really to do with Arts at all. It's your main required classes that pretty much all colleges require and you have to take like 24 credits of electives which will help you to see what you like and are good at. Then when you get to your dad's you could take you degree to a college over there.